Saturday morning. We'd normally sleep in.. the dogs would pile in-between us.. Riley usually laying on me and Token on John.
I thought when I went to bed last night that there was some air in the room, but when I woke up this morning, it had all been sucked out. I'm panicking again. My doctor told me to start taking the Zoloft again. It's now been 5 days and the only thing I've been able to eat is a bowl of soup. The idea of food makes me sicker.
I need to do something for work.
I have no idea how I'm going to deal with all of John's stuff. I have no idea how I'm going to get back into my house in Frisco. I'm not sure I have enough money to handle this. The bills are mounting.
All I can do is try and breath.
To be honest with you, I don't think I fully understood how much my life was tied with John. I feel like I need to protect him now, and what's left of him are his things and the memory of him. Being the bastard that I am, I sort of always kept my escape plan.. my house in Frisco. That was stupid. I didn't want an escape plan.. I wanted a forever plan.
1 comment:
Dear Tom
I just checked the blog as it seemed you hadn't posted in a bit - and can't believe what I'm reading.
I am so sorry about what's happened.
I honestly don't know how I'd cope.
There's not much I can do to help, other than to send my good thoughts to you from across the Atlantic.
Please stay close to your friends and family.
God bless.
Your friend,
Kris
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