In Other News...

...I had a rough day.  Shocking, I know.  I'm very lucky I have family that I can call.  It's to my great shame that it took John passing for me to start to realize what is important in life.  I've wasted so much time, but maybe I can make up for it.

A couple of John's friends that became 'our friends' took me out to dinner last night.  We went to the sushi restaurant that John and I frequented.  The waitress was a 22 year old Asian girl with blue hair.  She was really funny.  She wanted to show us a picture on her phone and got distracted and left her phone at our table, so we took pictures of ourselves and posted them to her facebook.  That was amusing.  It's the sort of thing that John would really have enjoyed.

Later the owner of the restaurant came by.  He was always very nice to John and I, and of course he asked me where John was.  That was difficult to deal with.

I enjoyed being out of the house and telling fun stories about John, but I was also so sad that he wasn't there like he should have been.

I got a message from Mike's (John's brother) wife that they're coming up from Houston next weekend.  I think they're expecting me to have been moved.  I need to figure out how to manage this.  Either I get off my sorry-for-myself ass and get a lot of things done, or I need to tell them not to come.

Leaving this home, or even just being away from the things around me, is a painful thought.  It's all symbolic of John.  Beside the memories of him, this is all that's left.  I didn't put my own style on this house, it's all John, and I like it. 

Thank Gorak there's so much football on tv.  It's great to have on, while I sit in the family room with John's laptop.  Silence is an enemy.

One thing I've learned about people who are grieving, is that you cannot possibly annoy them by contacting them too much.  It doesn't matter if you have no idea what to say.