I laid in bed until 2:00pm, and then went to Mary Beth's house for a couple of hours. Her in-laws had already left, so it was pretty much just me and her talking a bit. Her house is normal.. husband, 12 year old daughter, etc. They got a new flat screen tv.
It snowed today. MaryBeth says that John sent it so we'd have a white Christmas.
It's been a tradition for John and I to go to her house on Christmas day. It was always enjoyable. John always got his niece a nice present from the two of us.
I can't sugar coat this. I'm heart broken, and sad beyond anything I could imagine. John and I would go to MaryBeth's house.. not just me. All of the the familiar things in my life were done with him. I am only half a man without him, and he was the better half, by far.
I still can't get a moment of peace. My mind won't stop spinning. Everything in my life was based around John, and as much as a cry, and as much as I plead, that won't come back. I know that he's gone, but I think that somehow if I just beg enough, this will be a nightmare from which I was supposed to learn a lesson, and I'll wake up next to him.. snoring away.
He was only 48 years old.
I love him. I adore him. I miss him so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment