Thursday, December 27, 2012


I'm pretty scared.


Anonymous said...

Ok, I understand you are hurting and things are about as dark as they can be but it is time to get a grip and get yourself to a grief counselor. You can't go through this alone. I am really worried about you. As much as John loved you, he would kick your ass. Things will get better but you have to take that first step.

Tom said...

Having a weekly 50 minute appointment with a counselor isn't going to mean I'm not alone.

I'll do my best to call tomorrow anyway.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for saying that and I am going to hold you to that. The counselor will give you tools to begin to deal with this. I went when I decided to come out to family and the guy helped me with tools to voice my feelings and take that first step. I do want you to be ok and you can't keep losing weight. I do love you my friend.

Anonymous said...

You call them yet?

Tom said...

No. I had some cereal a couple hours ago and it's making me feel sick.

Truth is, I'm mostly curled up in bed crying.

MaryBeth sent me an email this morning.. I think she's going to try and get me to go inpatient somewhere and I don't want to do that. I'm supposed to start back at work next week.

After John passed, all sorts of people said they'd be here for me, and now it's just Linda and MaryBeth.

I think if I can sleep a little more I might feel better.

Anonymous said...

Work is just not important right now. What is important is taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Go and get help in any form or any place that you can. There should be no debate or questions when something as important as your life is on the line. Only you can take that first step.

Tom said...

Randy, I'm actually having to work this week because the Lexicon quarterly update is behind and it's a mess. If I lose my job I'll be completely screwed.

I'm trying my best, but I can't begin getting done what I need to do for some reason. It's like I'm paralyzed. I can do the VA work because it's familiar to me, but all the stuff I need to do to move and settle everything at John's house is overwhelming me.

I know I need help, but I need people in the house with me. MB is coming tomorrow.. hopefully that can be a start to get me going.

Anonymous said...

Work might help focus on other things. Didn't think of that perspective. I am just worried about you not eating and losing that much weight. If you need me to come, let me know. I am here. Everything will be ok.

kris said...

ok, this is deeply inappropriate - but dammit, you need to take your mind off stuff even for 3 minutes.

I give you Kim Wilde, drunk off her ass, on London Transport. The guy on her left looks like a young Doug Gibbs.!

God bless, and listen to Randy!