Saturday, November 05, 2011

Chiquitas Maximus

Last month we held a Chiquita deathmatch to see who would be our new housekeeper, since Methadone Chiquita had contracted cancer and had to quit. The winner never showed up for work.. apparently some emergency in the family that dragged on, so we got a new Chiquita via recommendation from a friend.

We always append or preceed the Chiquita name with another in order distinguish between them. They tend to be like the drummers from Spinal Tap, so it makes sense to do it that way.

New Chiquita is probably the best we've ever had. The other day I came out of the study, which is adjacent to the dining room, and looking out the window I saw Chiquita cleaning the outside of the window. We've never had one do the outside of windows before. We're not even taking our dress shirts to the dry cleaner anymore. Chiquita can do the shirts exactly like the dry cleaners. She's like a house cleaning super hero or something..

... and is therefore known as Chiquitas Maximus.

Unfortunately, her English is not very good, so what we do when we need to explain something is type it into, and print out the results. Works pretty well.


kris said...

I got lucky and found an Eastern European lady who has a work ethic not seen in America since my Grandfather's time.

I pay her slightly above the average - without her asking. She's happy, continues to bust her ass for me - and I can rest safe in the knowledge that she hasn't dunked my toothbrush in the toilet.

John said...

Her English may not be the best, but she has a green card, a valid social security card, and can be put on the household payroll as a W-2 employee.

Since she has mastered the house, the next step is to sample her cooking skills.