Trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work. - Allie Brosh
I've never had any symptoms of depression.. that seems to be changing. I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet. I really don't have anything to be depressed about, but it kind of comes in small little waves. Plus the minor case of tinnitus I've had for years has suddenly amplified itself. I need to go see an ENT. Could be an issue with my chemistry that is out of whack or something. I think we get more sensitive to it the older we get.
I do have one bit of anxiety.. after all these years, I've realized that even though I've had a solid profession and written a lot of good code, and done some nice things for people, and been generally a nice person (despite how it might seem from my blogging).. I still haven't accomplished anything meaningful.
Are any of you guys going to do anything that stands out in any way? How would you feel if you never do?
That's a serious question by the way.
I normally don't share shit like that on this blog. I might change that.
10 comments:
Right there with you on the anxiety and depression. I wonder if it has to do with our advancing age? As long as you are still hot in your old age, you should be good to go. =)
I have been there too. I was only depressed after my kids were a few months old and when I was turning 50. We all go through it sooner or later. I think the best thing you can do is share your feelings with others; whether it is with your fans (us), friends or family. I usually read funny blogs (yours) or watch funny videos to get me past my issues. Having kids makes you focus harder and helps you remember that they need us. Keep up the great posts. My daughter and I love your work. Hope you are feeling better now :))))
Thanks.. that's very nice.
Still have the weird feeling come and go, and the tinnitus, but I'm working on improving nutrition, going to get working out again, and hopefully this is just an issue of my chemistry being out of whack.
My sleep has also been really irregular. I'm trying to get that on a regular schedule but waking up in the middle of the night wide awake every night is not helping the situation. I actually made it to 6:30am this morning, which is an improvement.
I could have written that last comment myself. Find I'm turning on the TV in the middle of the night just for the noise sometimes. If it is a mid-life crisis and not depression, I really want that red car and blond. :-)
I've never experienced the situation where you're dead tired but wide awake.. like you're wired on caffeine before.
In the late afternoon, I can get in bed and fall asleep in minutes without any sleeping meds. Of course, I'm avoiding doing that now.. but it's strange to be in bed a 2am have almost racing thoughts going on.
I will say that today has been better. That's my goal.. slightly better every day. I really think that I totally jacked my chemistry hardcore and it's going to take some time to get things back in order.
If this is a shadow of old age... DO NOT WANT
Oh.. and I have a couple "fans". That's fucking cool.. :)
why do you think our little friend is buying up space on every fake radio space going?
For me, the anxiety comes from the road narrowing and knowing that I'm running out of time.
I hit some hiccups along the way of getting qualified. You see, I was enlisted in the Navy before I went down this road.
It's been a mountain to climb. But if you want what we have, you have to do what we do.
Hence the reason why my respect for our friend has eroded over the years. One doesn't earn it merely by proclaiming one's an expert.
He knows. And that's why he's spending the remainder of his days attempting to chip away at the stupidity of those who have earned their stripes - and gotten the law right in the process.
Having achieved a certain status, there is much more I need to be doing.
And I'm running out of time.
Ps I am so distressed having seen the video of your states learned judge William Adams beating his daughter with a belt while mama tells her she needs to "take" daddy's depravity "like a grown up".
I want this man off the Bench.
Then I want to kick his ass.
I hope you will blog about this sick fuck and write to every politician you know of, including the senior judge of aransas county, to put the pressure on- as I know small towns love to sweep it under the carpet.
I've faced judge burt mills, the local state senators and rick perry pointing out what the judged did is a crime - even in texas.
Just wanted to pass along a recommendation I received. Someone told me about 5-HTP extract that comes from a natural seed extract. It is supposed to give a boost to your serotonin which improves mood, appetite, and is drug free. Been taking it about a week and it appears I am feeling a bit better. I am planning to try it for a month and see how things go. Give it a try.
I really appreciate this post. I?
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