American Justice

The fuck?

In a photo provided by the Hamilton County Sheriff's Office, Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake appears in a booking photo Monday, April 18, 2011, in Cincinnati. Leake was arrested on a shoplifting charge at a downtown department store, accused of trying to steal six shirts valued at $59.88. The 23-year-old starter was booked at the Hamilton County Justice Center on a first-degree misdemeanor charge of shoplifting. It carries a maximum of 180 days in jail.

You're a Major League starter.. and you get caught stealing $60 worth of shit.

I understand that young people do stupid things.. but really.. what the fuck?

In a photo provided by the Switzerland County Sheriff's Department, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Mike Vrabel is seen in a booking photo Monday, April 4, 2011, in Vevay, Ind. Vrabel has been arrested and charged with theft from a casino. The Switzerland County sheriff's department said Vrabel, 35, was arrested at 5:30 a.m. and released about five hours later on $600 cash bond. He was charged with a class D felony.

What the fuck is he doing up at 5:30 anyway? I'm a night-owl and even I am dead to the world at that hour.

It's not enough to make millions of dollars a year.. they gotta commit a felony to go along with it.

This booking mug released by the Orange County Jail shows James ''Bubba'' Stewart Jr. The motocross star was charged with impersonating an officer after authorities said he used flashing lights to pull over two off-duty highway patrol officers March 28 in Orlando, Fla.

Okay.. that one is just funny. But a black "motocross star"? Really?

This booking photo released on Monday, March 28, 2011 by the Shreveport, La. Police Department shows Philadelphia Eagles tackle Jason Peters. Police spokesman Bill Goodin said Monday that Peters refused to show his driver's license after police stopped him Saturday night because of the volume of music coming from his vehicle. The charge of resisting arrest was added because of Peters' refusal to show his license.

Nigga be drivin' dirty.

Who knew you can get charged with resisting arrest for not "showing" your license? The moral of that story is that if you have a custom sound system put into your car, make sure they completely rip out the interior and add in lots of sound proofing material.

Lawrence Taylor, one of the most feared sack artists in NFL history, now will be known for something more notorious. Under terms of his plea deal for sexual misconduct with a 16-year-old, Taylor must register as a sex offender.

In my view, the prosecutor should have to prove you know your sexual partner is under-age. Prosecuting people who voluntarily have sex is just stupid anyway. It wasn't too long ago that women were married by age 12 anyway. Shit's getting ridiculous when an 18 year old can get charged with a felony for having sex with a 16 year old.

Sex is a good thing.. even for teen-agers. Pretty much everyone I knew were committing felonies like mad back when I was in high school.

In Taylor's case.. the douchebaggy part of it was that the girl was forced into prostitution. That's not cool. That's the evil part.

This undated photo provided by the St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office shows Detroit Tiger Miguel Cabrera after he was arrested on drunken driving charges Feb. 16, 2011 in Florida. The St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office says the 27-year-old's car engine was smoking alongside a road late Wednesday when a deputy spotted the vehicle. According to the arrest report, Cabrera smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and took a swig from a bottle of scotch in front of a deputy. Cabrera posted $1,350 bond and was released Thursday, Feb. 17, 2011.

Takes real cajones to be slamming your drink right in front of the cops. He seemed to be having a good time though.

Hints for when you get stopped for DUI: Refuse the breath test. Don't take the field sobriety test. Tell the cops you're invoking your 5th amendment right and don't say a word. Try not to stagger around by moving as little as possible. Call a very good attorney as soon as possible. Don't do it again.

In this booking photo provided by the Robertsdale Police Department via the Mobile Register, former NFL star quarterback Ken Stabler is seen after he was arrested and charged with reckless driving and driving under the influence of alcohol in Robertsdale, Ala. Stabler, now a radio analyst for University of Alabama football, was released from jail on $1,000 bond nearly 13 hours after his arrest, police said Monday June 9, 2008.

Oh man.. Ken Stabler... that's gotta suck.

Hint #2 for DUI: If you're wealthy, as in you have millions of dollars, it doesn't cost much to hire a driver for the evening. Even if you don't want a limo, you can simply pay somebody to drive your own car for you. Go out, have fun.. get shit faced. Make it home and into your bed safely and without going to jail.

Heck, even if you don't have lots of money, cabs work and are definitely worth the cost.

In this undated police booking photo, Indianapolis Colts defensive lineman John Gill is shown. Indianapolis police arrested the NFL football player after finding him passed out in a ditch on the side of a road about 4 a.m. Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010. In the police report, Officer Ricardo Flores Jr. says he called out to Gill, who tried to stand up, but couldn't and kept falling over. Flores says he eventually leaned Gill against his police car to keep him from falling.

I had no idea that you can get arrested for merely being drunk off your ass and unable to stand up. If I were the cop, I'd just drive the guy home and make sure he makes it into his house. The pain he'll feel when he wakes up should be punishment enough.

These days, cops have no sense of discretion. If there is any way possible that they can arrest you, they will. That doesn't help the situation for this guy. It only makes things worse. It's not like he was putting anybody else at risk.

This Thursday, July 8, 2010, booking photo released by the Bristol, Conn. , police department shows Jeremy Green, an analyst for ESPN and son of former NFL coach Dennis Green, who was arrested on child pornography charges.

Oh shit.. that's bad.. as in very very bad. It's impossible for a person to control what they find attractive, but you can certainly control behavior. Turns out he got 5 years in the slam for that. Not a pleasant situation for him by any stretch.

There's like 40 more mug shots at this link, if you're interested. I got bored after 14 or so.