I'm not worthy

How the hell does he come up with this shit?

Today I heard on the news that Michael Jackson is going to open a leprechaun themed amusement park in Ireland. Seriously. If you don’t believe me, go Google yourself.

Let me pause for a moment while your brain connects the dots.

Michael Jackson… accused but never convicted of child molesting… Leprechaun theme….the theme park will probably hire midgets to portray leprechauns….lots of midgets…Michael will visit his theme park to check on his investment…midgets will end up in bed with Michael, but just as friends.

I know I’m supposed to say “little people” or “height challenged” instead of midgets, but you have to admit that “midget” is a funny word. Let me have that. Please.

I won’t accuse Michael Jackson of being a child molester. You can never fully rule out “disturbed weirdo of galactic proportions with astonishingly bad judgment.” However, the question I wonder about is what would happen if someone such as Michael who enjoyed sleeping with children (as friends) suddenly couldn’t do it anymore. What would he do?

Well, he might start a business that has a perfectly good reason for hiring hordes of midgets. They’d all be over 18-years old so there are no legal problems. As far as I know, you can hump the living crap out of a midget all day long and it’s totally legal, assuming the midget is onboard with the plan. Or you can just share your bed with midgets as friends. That’s legal too.

Maybe I’m too cynical. Or maybe I’m just cynical enough. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.