Meanwhile

While we're waiting for the planet or nuclear weapons to cook us.. we have this facinating debate going on in Congress this week. They're talking about blow jobs!

Sentator Rick Santorum is on the United States Senate floor, right at this moment, and he's railing on the evils of sodomy. Now, without getting too graphic, among other things, sodomy includes heterosexual oral sex.

I'd like to take a moment to point out 9 human heads were found on a roadside in Iraq yesterday, packed in boxes, and 50 people were kidnapped.

Anyway.. back to the most important issue to our chimpanzee president, and the Republicans in Congress. Fornication. Specifically, Santorum is all upset about the Lawrence v. Texas ruling, where the Supreme Court found that consenting adults cannot be put in jail for having what ever sort of sex they want to in the privacy of their own homes.

Santorum backs Scalia's dissent;

State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are likewise sustainable only in light of Bowers’ validation of laws based on moral choices. Every single one of these laws is called into question by today’s decision; the Court makes no effort to cabin the scope of its decision to exclude them from its holding.

Now I'm quite sure the neither Scalia nor Santorum has ever masturbated, right? As Scalia and Santorum like to point out, once you touch your johnson, just for the fun of it, you'll want to go fuck sheep.

Keep in mind that the federal government is totally controlled by right wing Christian Republicans.. okay? Liberals think you should do whatever the hell you want to do - and wish you a good time while you do it.

Republicans, on the other hand, right at this moment in Congress are saying that you should go to jail for touching yourself. I suspect they want to be the sex police and "investigate" the crimes.

Why do they hate sex so much? Well, it's the only justification for banning same-sex marriage.

Who is obsessed with sex? Republicans! Who? Christians! Who thinks they should be able to control what you do, in the privacy of your own home, and make the things you like to do against the law? Republicans! Why? They're "Christians" and they hate the fact that liberals have fun.

Tell me, has there ever been a bigger group of scumbags in the United States federal government?