Monday, January 09, 2012

Asshat Quote of the Day

My answer is simple. Religion survives because it answers three questions that every reflective person must ask. Who am I? Why am I here? How then shall I live? ... You can take science, technology, the liberal democratic state and the market economy as four institutions that characterise modernity, but none of these four will give you an answer to those questions that humans ask. - Chief Rabbi Lord Sacks

Who am I? I'm the product of the neurons in my brain, and the cells of my body
Why am I here? Because we're here
How then shall I live? Eat, drink and be merry

It's not that fucking difficult.


I've obviously been out of the loop for a while. Just needed a break. Still feeling a little better every day. Next Dr. appointment is on Wednesday.


Saw this bit linked from the Grandasshat, Sullivan.

I'm guilty of the propagation of dumb stereotypes about mental disorders. I immediately leapt to my own defense against the prospect that my current medical problem might be linked to a mental disorder considering a couple of the meds I'm on, and the apparent lack of a specific diagnosis for my issue. I'm absolutely sure there is a physiological component to my condition, but then there is for mental disorders as well. There's really no difference between depression and a brain tumor. Both are physiological. Neither is a moral failing.

As an engineer, I'm always looking for the cause to an effect. I thought it absurd when the neurologist told me he had no idea what was causing my problem. My issues are interconnected and there must be some mechanism behind it all.

I have a few theories.

The first is a slow cerebral spinal fluid leak. My symptoms seem to line up with an article I read in the July issue of the Journal of Neurology. It is possible that my improvement in the symptoms could be related to a gradual sealing of the leak.

The second is a simple chemical issue, such as a vitamin deficiency or something along those lines. I've been trying to eat more and more diversely. I haven't had much appetite the last couple months. It might be helping.

The third is rather far fetched. Shortly before the headache, ear ringing, digestive disrupting, toxic sludge feeling exploded on me in October, I got bit up by mosquitoes while walking the dogs in the local park. At least I thought the bites were caused by mosquitoes. There are about 7 welts. They are still not completely healed now, which is highly unusual for mosquito bites.

The really strange thing is that the healing of a welt seems to reverse and get more aggravated without any particular reason. I've never had a mosquito bite not fade in a few weeks, and certainly never had a bite get worse after nearly being gone.

The marks are nearly gone now, but there is still some red discoloration on the skin. It seems like the severity of the wounds tracked proportionally to how bad the headache was, the intensity of the ear ringing, and so on. I'm betting that when they are completely gone, the last of the ear ringing will be gone as well.

That really seems odd, and I did explain this to my PCP and the neurologist. They both dismissed the bites out of hand. What if they weren't caused by mosquitoes? Is West Nile the only thing mosquitoes can transmit? I definitely don't have West Nile, at least not by it's description of symptoms.

Anyway.. it's apparent that the symptoms are abating, and I see no reason why I won't be completely over it pretty soon. I'd just like to know what the fuck this shit is.. because it sucks... and because I don't like having an undiagnosed condition.

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