Sunday, October 09, 2011

Asshat Quote of the Day

Political and geological events in recent years leads me to think that perhaps the Rapture may possibly be looming in the near future. One of the primary keys that suggests to me a sooner-rather-than-later Rapture is Islamism. The recent increase in Islamic fervor, and a few key events surrounding Islam, have served to answer a number of prophetic questions.

Chaos would ensue as the leaders began to search for a reason for the disappearances. Planes would fall from the sky as Christian pilots vanish from their seats, and cars would careen out of control with no driver. Piles of clothes on buses, in offices, on the streets, and in beds would remain as the bodies rose to meet Jesus. The children under the age of being able to decide about a life regarding Christ will also depart, as will every child in the womb. - Douglass "does it count if I just lick it?" Gibbs

Does that mean the sperm in your balls will get ripped from your sack and rise up to meet Jesus?

No doubt one of the greatest posts from Doug.. ever. ever ever ever. In fact, if I had to pick the craziest, most humorous thing he's ever written, that would be it.

OH FUCK!!1 don't get on the fucking plane!! The pilot is going to vanish when Jebus Part Deux happens.

The reason why Doug posts news about every single natural disaster is that he thinks it's yet another signal that god is going to make a return. What drives it is his incredible desire to see other people suffer as retribution for the shit that he finds his life wallowing in. He absolutely wants well educated, professional, sane rational people who don't buy into the religious loonery to get thrown into the fiery pits of hell in payback for 45 years of mocking him as a clueless moron with delusions of grandeur (175 IQ!), and a sanity that is barely hanging by a thread.

And ya.. he wants Jesus/God to pat him on the back for choosing not to be gay.

But hey.. he's made an exception for kids who haven't had a chance to completely lose their minds about the Magical Sky Wizard. That's something anyway. The rest of us? Fuuhhhhhked.

So the deleted retort. It's not as good as it should have been, but it's late and I'm tired. I should have waited until I was fresh to really let him have it.


Of course you think you're going to get raptured.. because you think you're special. It's why you post stories about natural disasters every time one happens. You think there's been an increase in disasters and that's somehow a signal that god is sending Jebus.

Ya.. he's killing thousands of people through natural disasters so as to signal his creatures that he's going to be making a return visit to suck up all the people that picked the right religion into heaven. Everyone else gets to burn in hell or something.

Here's something for your vapid little mind to consider. Human deaths via conflicts and war are at the lowest point in the entire history of mankind.

Planes would fall from the sky as Christian pilots vanish from their seats, and cars would careen out of control with no driver.


You do realize, of course, that rational people laugh at you for thinking that the rapture is actually going to happen.. and you're going to get swirled up into heaven and all that. It's really quite amusing.

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