He's disillusioned with religion.. disillusioned with war.. disillusioned with Conservative ideology..
Really? No.. Really?
But the crying.. there's no crying in blogging!
Where to go? What to do? You read me flounder every day; and you can find many less conflicted bloggers to read. Maybe I should take a break and live a less examined life for a while.
Here's the thing. Sullivan is not one to deny to the bitter end. Only the Loon Brigade does that. Jesus could come down and tell them all they're a bunch of assholes, and they'd just think it was Satan pulling a stunt.
No.. Sullivan is one of those people who have been wrong.. in just about every way.. over and over.. and for years. He claims he can never embrace Liberalism, and so has exiled himself to some 40 years in the desert. He's so tortured! He's so.. principled.. not of the Loon Brigade who he thinks wrecked the movement, and not of the Dirty Fucking Hippies.
And that is why Sullivan was religious in the first place. You have to be able to purge yourself of disbelief. He just cannot accept that what he's seen is really what it is.
Meanwhile, he sniffs.. sad.. such a tortured soul that he advocated a war that killed over a hundred thousand human beings.. with tears that the movement abandoned him, and now he no longer has a home. He'll quit blogging just long enough to nail himself to his precious cross.. while still spending the afternoons walking his dogs on the beaches of Rhode Island.. instead of, you know.. buried in a mass grave like so many of the victims of his ideology.
Fear not.. I'm sure Sullivan will muster up the courage to plop himself down in front of the keyboard and pound out more tortured self-realization.
Life is always a temporary and losing battle, an engagement with the deadliness of doing. It just feels deadlier than usual in these past few years of brutally unsentimental education.
He will never get it.. ever.
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