The Stall

(the bathroom)

ELAINE

what a dope!

uh..excuse me

umm.. I'm sorry

this is.. this is kind of embarrassing but.. there's no toilet paper over here

JANE

(from the stall on Elaine's right)

are you talking to me?

ELAINE

yeah.. I

I just forgot to check

so if you could just spare me some

JANE

no I'm sorry

ELAINE

what?

JANE

no I'm sorry, I can't spare it

ELAINE

you can't spare it??

JANE

no there's not enough to spare

ELAINE

well I don't need much, just 3 squares will do it

JANE

I'm sorry I don't have a square to spare, now if you don't mind

ELAINE

3 squares? you can't spare 3 squares??

JANE

no I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square

ELAINE

oh is it two-ply? cause it it's two-ply I'll take one ply, one ply, one, one

puny little ply, I'll take one measly ply

JANE

look, I don't have a square and I don't have a ply (flushing and leaving)

Elaine

no no, no no, don't don't, I beg you