The Da Vinci Code

So, I saw the "controversial" film over the weekend. It was your standard crime drama, with elements of Indiana Jones. Follow the clue to the next clue, all while somebody is chasing you, kind of thing. It also reminded me of National Treasure, which actually was a kind of fun film.

Sometime I'd like to see a treasure hunt movie where the hunters are not being hunted by some bad guy or organization. You know, the antagonist could be the puzzle of the treasure itself.

So - anyway.. plot spoiler, stop reading if you don't want to know..

I can see why the Catholics aren't too pleased. They come off as murderous thugs, bent on enslaving mankind. But you know - that's what they are. The basic idea is that Jesus was not divine and was just a man.. who married Mary Magdalene and had children. The main characters are trying to track down proof, and that proof is the holy grail, which isn't really a thing at all but more of a truth. What an amazing coincidence that the female lead character turns out to be the only surviving heir of Jesus bloodline.

What a huge load of bullshit.

Not the "Jesus wasn't divine part". That's true. I'm talking about there only being one blood heir. As I indicated in my post on HIV, human beings breed like rabbits. If Jesus did have any children, the blood would have spread so far so fast that we'd all have some of the DNA in us.. every last person on this planet I suspect.

Anyway, the semi-secret-cult Catholic organization, Opus Dei, is portrayed as some sort of guardian of the big secret, and they would kill anyone to maintain the illusion of Jesus' divinity... yadda yadda yadda.. oh but the Monk who beats himself is a nice touch... especially looking rather albino with scary eyes and all that.

It wasn't a total bore fest. If you want to see a total bore fest, rent Match Point. It's the new Woody Allen movie, and it got stellar reviews, so I rented it. I could only sit through the first 45 minutes before starting to nod off. It was horrid.

Before the Da Vinci Code started, one of the previews was the remake of The Omen. It looks freakin cool.. and opens on June 6. What a brilliant marketing plan.. LOL

You know.. if you take anything away from watching The Da Vinci Code, it's that most human beings are crazy. It's true that when the bible was put together, they simply cherry picked the gospels, and rewrote things to match up with what they wanted. It's that way today. The ancient Gospels of Judas were discovered a couple years ago, but the Christians simply dismissed it. It doesn't fit in with what is the most absurdly obvious fraud in the history of mankind.

What I do think is plausible.. is that Jesus existed, had awesome communication and people skills, said a lot of nice things that Christians today totally ignore, had a wife and kids, and virtually every one of us carries that blood to this day.

The same is true for a great many prophets and kings, and notable historical figures.

Mysticism can be a very alluring thing.. from getting your palm read, to chasing ghosts, and buried religious treasure with magical powers. The problem is, there has never been a documented case where any of it has proven to be unnatural. It would be great if any of it were true. It would be great if John Edwards could talk to the dead rather than being the biggest douschbag liar in the universe. It would be awesome to find a holy relic that heals people rather than counting on Benny Hinn to smack you in the forehead to remove your cancer.

The problem is - none of that exists, or has ever existed, or ever will exist, no matter how much people want it.

Me... I want to see a young girl levitate and spew bile all over a priest while speaking in Aramaic. Ya.. that would be cool.

The Power of Gorak Compels You!!! to go buy something cool and fashionable..

** edit **



While I'm thinking about it.. apparently Da Vinci and other painters of the time did do some intentional coding in their paintings and drawings. For instance if you look at a number of his paintings, there are people pointing, sometimes up, sometimes down. Apparently Da Vinci was fond of giving the church the finger in his artwork without them even knowing.

Oh.. and by the way.. at the end of the movie, the hero figures out where the holy grail is located.. It's under the glass pyramid at the Louvre in Paris. Apparently the people at the Louvre had to rope off that particular area to keep people from trying to dig through the floor to find the grail.

Human beings are, quite literally, insane.

Oh.. and by the way.. Da Vinci was gay..



That's the protrait that Da Vinci painted of his boyfriend..

Gian Giacomo Caprotti da Oreno, nicknamed Salai or il Salaino ("The Little Unclean One" i.e., the devil), was described by Vasari as "a graceful and beautiful youth with fine curly hair, in which Leonardo greatly delighted." Il Salaino entered Leonardo's household in 1490 at the age of 10. The relationship was not an easy one. A year later Leonardo made a list of the boy’s misdemeanours, calling him "a thief, a liar, stubborn, and a glutton." The "Little Devil" had made off with money and valuables on at least five occasions, and spent a fortune on apparel, among which were twenty-four pairs of shoes. Nevertheless, il Salaino remained his companion, servant, and assistant for the next thirty years, and Leonardo’s notebooks during their early years contain pictures of a handsome, curly-haired adolescent.

A shoe queen no less.. Some things never change.