Kos - Really bad novel

Over at the Daily Kos, they are having a little contest..

In one or two sentences, write the opening paragraph for a really bad novel starring your favorite right-wing wacko. Suggested characters might include James Dobson, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Jeff Gannon/James Guckert (hubba hubba), Rush, Ken Mehlman, Phyllis Schlafly...or even Bootyrocket and Friends at the cold outer rim of the blogosphere. The inclusion of foodstuffs and/or bodily emissions is encouraged, but not necessary. Please...no poetry or serious entries as I have a delicate constitution.

My entry.... (so to speak)

Jimmyjeff perched at the threshold of transforming his soft pass into a hard pass.

"Yes", the breathless words as Karl licked his fleshly lips. "You may enter my oval office now."

Bet I win.. :)

** update **

Also noticed over at Kos that they had over 700,000 visitors in a single day. I'd wager that's more than any "serious" news channel gets in a single day.