Dilbert blogging

Reading Scott Adams' blog again today. Observational humor is very amusing.. and like a Jerry Seinfeld type, Adams is brilliant. I particularly liked this entry.

Super Lobbyist

I have many reasons for writing this blog, not the least of which is my ongoing effort to avoid being selected for jury duty. To that end, allow me to express my respect for the most Dogbertian alleged criminal of all: lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

Abramoff is alleged to have engaged in a number of complicated and shady activities involving money and politicians and gambling and whatnot. Most of the allegations aren’t that interesting. But one scheme, according to Time magazine, caught my eye. They say, “eLottery – This Internet gambling firm hired Abramoff and invested some $2 million in an intricate campaign in 2000 to kill a bill that would have outlawed most online gaming. Abramoff used Christian groups to block the bill on the grounds that it didn’t go far enough.”

Yes, the man convinced Christian groups to support gambling. Now THAT’S what I call an effective lobbyist. I suppose if he did all the things he’s accused of doing, he has to go to jail. But with any luck, he’ll get a judge that wouldn’t mind a few “fact finding junkets” himself, and Abramoff will go free. If that happens, I plan to hire him just to see what else he can convince Christian groups to do, just for fun. Here’s my short list:

Ban prayer in churches

Mandatory homosexuality

No more wearing “Wally” glasses

No riding motorcycles and pretending to be the good kind of bad

The only thing I wouldn’t change is that I’d still allow Pat Robertson to blame God for smiting people who he believes “had it coming.” That’s too funny to stop.