tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9996771.post7282327003726106066..comments2023-10-24T09:44:31.894-05:00Comments on The Infidel Express: AATomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17564526640395324075noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9996771.post-57335893940209855082013-01-15T20:06:40.373-06:002013-01-15T20:06:40.373-06:00The key is that last phrase. You have a responsibi...The key is that last phrase. You have a responsibility to that person, not for them. Jon made his choices and chose not to inform you of them. That's not your fault. You don't want it to be Jon's fault because you don't want to remember him that way. Letting go of that guilt is something that will come in time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9996771.post-13983649269695594672013-01-15T12:43:24.651-06:002013-01-15T12:43:24.651-06:00You did have control over the meds you knew about....You did have control over the meds you knew about. Probably missed signs that there were other meds and issues. I know I get comfortable with situations and sometimes miss the obvious signs and symptoms until something happens. You are a really good man and would help anyone that needs it. You have helped me! I know you would have taken action to correct and help him but how do you do that if there is information and knowledge that you don't have? Question is how do you accept actions or lack of actions and move on in this life. Your statement about never failing again with anyone else is a step in moving forward and learning. I know you feel John would have listened and that is all that matters. Being in love is about taking risks that the good will out weigh the pain that sometimes comes along with it. Get through this and one day, it will come again. You are forever changed. Love ya.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9996771.post-71954712040521126192013-01-15T12:11:16.831-06:002013-01-15T12:11:16.831-06:00The problem is that I didn't really try. I th...The problem is that I didn't really try. I thought his doctors were responsible for his health, along with John. I got angry the more <i>my</i> John was drifting away. His friends and family were getting more and more concerned, and I told them that I had control of the pain meds when I didn't. I thought he was improving because he did some appraisal work.<br /><br />I've been a closed off human being for a long time. I hid my emotions and buried my head in the sand. John would have never allowed me to get to the point that I let him get to. He would have known what to do, and how. He loved me so much that he would have done what he always did, and that was help me fix the problem.<br /><br />I totally failed him. It's the truth.<br /><br />I keep asking him now to help me fix the problem. Maybe he had a hand in getting me to an AL Anon meeting last night. I don't know if it's even going to help, but it got me out of the house.<br /><br />I'm just really tired of people telling me that John wouldn't have listened to me and wouldn't have let me help him.<br /><br />I will never fail like this again. It's too late for John, but I'll never feel this pain with anyone else... ever.Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17564526640395324075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9996771.post-8685717823385143752013-01-15T10:57:17.150-06:002013-01-15T10:57:17.150-06:00You have an interesting statement in this post. &q...You have an interesting statement in this post. "I want half the blame. Then I want to figure out how to accept it and deal with it. When you are in a relationship, you have responsibility to the other person." I totally agree that we have not only a 50% responsibility but actually a 100% responsibility "to" the other person. I think the key is that it is "to"...not "for". We all make mistakes and for me figuring out how to accept what I do and the results is often really hard. It would be great if my 20/20 hindsight could be 20/20 foresight. How do we make decisions or just not make any decision and know we did the right thing? I wish I knew. When you get to that point of acceptance that you could have possibly helped and that help may have been accepted or rejected, that acceptance is what will begin your process of healing. I cannot change the things I have done or not done to other people in the past. I can only accept, learn, and even ask for forgiveness. Going to AA was a good move. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com